I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!