don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dating After Heartbreak
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED