i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college