Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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