why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
