why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems