kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
