I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
