She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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