He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
