Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
