and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
