I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
