Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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