That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
