remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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