She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
