I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Small penises have feelings too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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