New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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