it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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