So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
babies were throwing up all over the place
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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