HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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