yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
