If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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