Can Purell be used as lube?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize