glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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