I think i peed on brittanys purse
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
