Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
