I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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