Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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