if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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