id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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