Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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