I just pynch a tree in the face
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
