So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
