Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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