He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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