i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
