Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
