Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
