I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
