I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
