so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When are your genitals available?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
