I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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