So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
