It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
