Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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