Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
