NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
