when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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