I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
