so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
