I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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