I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
