My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
