why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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