I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize