Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think my fart just growled at me.
bring money and cleavage
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
