Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
ttyl tear gas
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
