I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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