Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
