she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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