Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
