And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
