i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
