is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Still dying that you shit outside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
