Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize