singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So much Jack, so little girl.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Enjoy the penises
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
