You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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