I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
