So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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